Of all the days to be working, I thought. Thanksgiving Day. Oh well, it's not as though I were missing anything right this minute. I really would have liked to be cooking like a fiend, but this morning I settled for arranging flowers. My mundane trade is a florist. In a grocery store. So I get to be a 'fake' florist just like I'm a 'fake' Witch to some. I found that thought amusing. I got to leave the cooking to my mother-in-law. I would get off work just in time to make a hasty hour's drive north to gorge myself on copious amounts of turkey and various other Thanksgiving delicacies.
This particular morning I was thinking of who might need flowers over the next few days and thought specifically of the ladies' group from the church up the road. They traded off the responsibility for getting flowers for the sanctuary every week. More than once I was faced with a Sunday morning full of panicky church ladies who had forgotten it was 'their turn' to get the flowers. They had no idea that a pagan 'infidel' was the one they depended on for rescue. Carnations, I thought, just the ticket.
I made the dozen carnations and put them in the cooler and was busy cleaning up the resultant mess when I looked up to find a young man in Navy whites standing in front of me. White? In the winter? I thought he must have been stationed somewhere very warm.
"I need your help." He said.
"That's what they pay me for, what can I do for you?" I replied, laying aside my shears.
"I need flowers. For a grandmother...that I've never met. I also need flowers for a mother that I've only met once." He said nervously.
Stifling my immediate curiosity, I gestured to the cooler. Somewhere in those few seconds, I felt the Priestess hat settle on my head, as well as that of Mother and Grandmother.
"Third door. I just put those in there. Carnations are really popular with older ladies. They used to be the 'in' thing in their day, so most of them prefer carnations over roses."
"All right. That price includes the vase?" He asked, looking surprised.
I smiled, "You've just hit on the other reason they are poplar with older folks. They're not as pricey as roses, but then we have a good deal going on those as well." I gestured to the sale sign for our dozen roses at more than ten dollars off the regular price.
"Those are unusual," he said, admiring the striped red and yellow roses.
"They're called 'Abracadabra.' " I answered.
"Ah... yes, the miracles of genetic modification." He mused.
"Yes, " I said, "But while they're nice, I'd rather have seeds that will reproduce. That's the downside to GMO's." I remarked.
"You're kidding, right?" He asked.
"I wish I wasn't. Most GMO's are programmed to not even produce seeds. Or, if they do, they're not viable. So if you want a particular tomato, you have to buy seeds again next year because any you save will just turn to dust. Shame isn't it?" I said.
"Makes you wonder. Next we won't be able to get rainwater without paying somebody collecting a tax on it or something." He said.
Clearly he wasn't the normal happy go lucky kid. I judged him to be about twenty-five. I bit my lip again and said, "Would you like to take those to your mother?"
"I wasn't thinking of a whole dozen, I'm in a car by myself. I don't think I could manage both of them. It's too bad you don't have some in the smaller vases like these." He said.
"I can do that!" I smiled, "I have four left I think, would you like one, two or three?" I said, my handle on the cooler door.
"Three. That would be great!" He smiled for the first time. Good, I thought, he's relaxing a little.
As I gathered up the roses, greenery, and a budvase, I took a deep breath and asked the question that was plaguing me.
"A grandmother you've never met and a mother you've only met once? Mind if I inquire as to the circumstances?" I said, carefully keeping my eyes on my work.
"She left when I was thirteen months. I was raised by my dad, and then my aunt when he didn't want me no more. It's a very strange family situation. But, I'm in the military now, and here I am, buying flowers for dinner at my uncles' house. I got in late last night. Staying at the Motel 8 up the road. They're not too good with wakeup calls. I asked for one at 9:15...it never came. Story of my life. So now I'm running late, well not too late, but enough to make me even more nervous." He said, all in one breath, I thought.
"I was wondering," I said, "see, my daughter gave my first grandson up for adoption, fast forward about twenty years and you could be my grandson standing in front of me." I said, mistily. I finished the budvase and swiped the counter clean.
"Oh, there was no adoption in this case. She just left. And I just went to live with my aunt. I don't think anyone gave it much thought beyond that. But I'm in the military now and that's all in the past." He said.
"Yes, that will certainly broaden your perspective." I replied.
"You're not kidding. Is there an ATM in this store? And a wine section?" he asked.
"Sure, right up front by Customer Service, but no wine section. We only sell beer and wine coolers and you can't buy those on holidays or on Sunday in Tennessee." I informed him.
"Really? How strange." He said.
"Yes, part of the legislated morality that is Tennessee. Unless they're Catholic, they won't miss it. But if they're Baptist, or anything else around here, I wouldn't recommend wine at all, so you're safe." I joked.
"I was raised Catholic, sort of. I went to a Baptist school though, and my mother I think was Pentecostal for a while. I've seen a lot overseas though. I've seen Muslims and Buddhists, and lots of other stuff." He mused, eyeing for the first time, the pentacle around my neck.
"Oh, then definitely no wine." I said, letting the rest go. "You can leave these here and come back if you like. That way you have both hands." I said.
"Thanks," he said, "I'll be right back."
My eyes followed him as he made his way to the front of a grocery store. I took a deep breath and gave all the pent up emotion I was feeling and touched each blossom, each piece of greenery, with a fervent wish that this young man find what it was he was looking for from his family on this day. I also wished for acceptance and reciprocity and peace for him and his family.
I know something of being the outsider. I've been the outsider in my family all my life. My heart went out to that grandmother, who, like me, never got to hold her grandson when he was little, never got to spoil him and watch him grow. It certainly wasn't my choice and I couldn't imagine it being hers either. While I didn't know for sure what the details were, I was positive this young man was walking into an emotional minefield and that was no less true for the family he was trying to get to know. I grabbed a paper towel and tilted the vase over the sink and let out some of the water. I saw him returning as I sopped up the excess clinging to the glass vase.
"You want to be sure and put water back into the vase. This green stuff here is Oasis, and it needs to stay submerged in water for the flowers to last. Carnations last a long, long time anyway, but if you keep them watered they should last a couple weeks." I said, handing him the vase and reaching for the budvase of roses.
"Listen, thanks. You've been a big help. Just talking about it made me feel a little less like biting my fingers off. I don't have any nails left!" he said, laughing.
"You're more than welcome. Good luck, and don't eat too much too fast." I said, as he walked away.
Again, I watched as he left, wiping the counter clean again. Then a thought occurred to me. Appalled at my lack of manners, I dried my hands and followed him to the front of the store.
He was waiting to give his money to the cashier. I walked into the line behind him and laid my hand on his shoulder.
"You know, I forgot something. I want to thank you for what you do." I said, barely able to keep the tears from my eyes.
He inclined his head, opened his mouth, and closed it again, nodded and shrugged. Clearly, it wasn't something he heard often, if ever. I turned away before he could see the tears in my eyes. I hoped those women appreciated this young man they barely knew. I hoped they took the time he was giving them and put it to good use. He was probably only home for a short time and had nowhere else to go. Who knew if he'd ever even see another Thanksgiving?
In a blinding flash of insight, I suddenly knew why things had worked out that I was working this day. Maybe my wish for the young man would smooth the way for him, maybe not. I sure felt good that I'd had the opportunity to see that sometimes things do come around and people sometimes get second chances at things others never miss. I silently wished for such a chance for me if at all possible.
In a world where choice is not always an option, the gods knew I needed that little bit of comfort. I could give more details, like the fact that I have two more grandchildren now, and that my life continues to be juxtaposed between Mother, Daughter, Sister and Priestess. While I would not trade my life now for anything, there are scars that will never quite heal. I truly hoped that young man would be the balm for both his mother and grandmother's hearts and that they would, in turn, give him a sense of belonging, even for a day. I hoped it wasn't too selfish of me to hope for a little of the same for myself. I smiled, holding the experience close, and went back to work on Thanksgiving Day. It just wouldn't do for those ladies not to have their flowers for church on Sunday.
- Tags:'stressmas', appreciation, awesomeness, choices, consequences, decisions, family, family history, food, gifts, giving the benefit of the doubt, gratitude, grief, happiness, holidays, human rights, love, magick, memories, past, patterns, spirituality, time flies
- Music:Dead Flowers - Miranda Lambert
- Tags:christine o'donnell, gop suicide, john boehner, michelle bachmann, morons, palin pussy, politics, rants, really stupid people, religion, ridiculous shit, stupid people, twits, unfuckingbelievable
It’s Not a Fairytale: Seattle to Build Nation’s First Food Forest
I wonder though, how they will keep Big-Ag from poisoning it one way or another with their vast arsenal of poisons for plants, bugs and animals?
I would love to see a chapter of Food Not Bombs create an outdoor kitchen/cafe to feed people with simple food items made from the local harvest. But then you get into all sorts of regs and rules and it just becomes hard from there on out.
- Tags:activism, appreciation, articles, choices, compost, conservation, creation, dreams, environment, food, fun stuff, garden, gardening, gardens, goals, gratitude, health activism, herbs, insects, invocations, justice, kitchen witchery, laws, legal, love, magick, manifestations, medicinals, sacredness, salad, science, seasons, seed starting, trees, vegetables, yes list
- Music:No Envy, No Fear Joshua Radin
Daily Kos: A Message from Papa Johns CEO To His CustomersDear Mr. CEO of Papa John's Pizza:
I read your quote via the Huffington post. I've also seen pictures of
your humble castle abode. You live in luxury while the bulk of your
employees cannot live on what you pay them. And you call the
legislation 'draconian' and invented to 'crush the small business'.
You're not a small business anymore. You will most likely never have to
actually work another day in your life, nor will your family have to
worry about where their next meal is coming from or if they have
healthcare. You are so far out of touch with 'small business' that you
might just as well be Donald Trump. You've built your business in the
greatest country in the world and when it comes time to pay your fair
share and give back so that others can continue to enjoy the same
entrepreneurial opportunities you took advantage of, you say 'No way."
and cut your employees hours and tell people to buy pizza somewhere else
so that you won't have to pass your costs on to them. Well sir, and I
use that term loosely, you never had my business in the first place.
And I sincerely hope your petulant tirade backfires and you go back to
being a nothing and a nobody and have to depend on someone else for a
job that pays a living wage. I will make my own pizza just like I
always have. It is not as though you offered some irreplaceable service/item.
You will most certainly NOT be missed.
- Tags:activism, anger, articles, choices, customer service, finances, food, idiots, men, mercury retrograde, news, really stupid people, stupid companies, stupid people, twits, work, work challenges, world affairs
After the spiders' prompt (finding the inexplicably crawling on me in the car - tiny ones) that I should be spinning - it IS that time of year, after all...I've been spinning. More hemp and bamboo for facial scrubbies. The ones I made before are holding up, so I will attempt to make these more attractive and perhaps give them as gifts.
This is the latest skein:
Never let it be said that I don't listen to the prompting of Spirit. In yet another encounter, this one just a little more 'woo-worthy'...Robb and I did an Ancestor Rite last weekend at the UU Church. We had an awesome time with mostly new folks since the regular crowd were at a handfasting - I'm always confused at the number of people who wish to get married at Samhain - but to each their own. I would think one would want the blessing of the Gods at their wedding....and from Samhain to Yule...they are in the Underworld...so...anyway, to each their own as I said. We went ahead with the Ancestor Rite, and it was supposed to happen the way it did.
Earlier in the afternoon, Robb and I had gone to Ruby Tuesday for lunch. We got a 25% off coupon in the mail and thought...hey lunch! We come into the entryway of Ruby Tuesday, and there is this little old lady standing in there like she's waiting for someone. She has white hair, sunglasses and a blue sweater over a white shirt and dark pants. She asked us for the time. My phone was charging in the car, but Robb had his and gave her the time...12:12.
So we had our lunch and then made our way to the church and set up. Most of the people there were students of a Witchcraft and Religion class from UT, including the anthropology instructors. They were invited to bring pictures of loved ones to place on the altar and as I was looking at the pictures...one of an older couple, obviously an older picture, stood out for me. The lady in the picture very closely resembled the older lady that had asked us for the time earlier in the day. I called Robb over and showed him the picture and asked him if it reminded him of anyone. He immediately noted the resemblance of the woman in the picture to the woman that had asked us for the time. I made a mental note to ask who brought the picture after the rite.
After the rite, I asked who brought the picture of the couple. The class instructor's wife, stepped forward. I asked her if the date, December 12, or the numbers 12:12 meant anything to her. She gasped and said "That's my birthday!" I told her about the lady we met earlier in the day and the time and that she resembled the woman in the picture...who was her grandmother. She had desired to communicate with her grandparents, and we all felt like this was her grandmother making her presence known.
Having things like this happen is why we continue to do these things. There were other things that happened, things that meant something only to the people participating. I really believe that Ancestor Rites, whether it be to communicate once in a while or say good-bye or even hello, are important to the people who maintain emotional connections to those gone before them. Sometimes, just the act of saying good-bye is enough. Other times, it is important for people to speak of their loved ones, tell their stories, so that others will remember, and their loved ones are not forgotten and live on in the memories of those who hear their stories.
This time of year is usually difficult for me. This whole last year I have felt disconnected from that emotional pull of Samhain. I don't know if this means I have finally been released from whatever hold this time of year holds on me, or that I have become less sensitive or healed from past year's traumas, gods know there has been a history for me of holding on to things. I have five retrograde planets in my natal chart...I hold on to things too much sometimes, beating things to death thinking about them and examining them until I'm completely satisfied that I did the right thing at the time or have done the right thing since or whatever. I tend to hold on to things a lot longer than is probably necessary. I'm seeing a trend of letting go. I don't know if it's because I had so much ripped away over this period of time that I've 'learned' that it repeats itself and I need to let it go.
I haven't talked much at all about the death of my most recent familiar. Mojo was especially dear to me. I waited a long time to have another cat like him... a black male cat...I have had Lucifer, Aengus, Michah and Mojo...there have been others, females, who have worked with me, but the males have been the most memorable. I have some of his fur that I plan to spin with some bamboo to make either a keyfob or a bookmark. He has declined to work with me from the other side like Luna and Micah and Boo and Elektra do from time to time. Aengus and Lucifer don't really 'work' with me per se, but they make their presence known when I need comfort or just for company, I feel their weight on the bed beside me, or I feel soft fur slide past my leg or hear purring next to my ear. I think Mojo will be like them, his choice. Others bring messages, or confirm things for me from time to time. Once Luna fully manifested to me, following me up the driveway at our old house while I was on the phone with Trudy. I literally screeched into the phone it startled me so badly. It's quite something to turn around and see a full grown bobcat...let alone one that isn't there. She caused quite a stir the year I put her into the Ancestor's fire at FOS as well. People swore they saw her all over the park that night, to the point that people were convinced there was an ACTUAL bobcat roaming the campground. She follows me, she is not attached to the location where she lived, nor where she is buried, she stays with me. If you've never had an animal companion do that, I wish it for you, it's an awesome experience to say the least.
There has still been no progress on the work front. I was offered a part-time job of 10-15 hours at minimum wage..which I could not take because I could not afford the gas to get there on what I would have been paid. There was another possibility, which did not pan out, but I remain hopeful that I will find employment soon. I'm not looking for just anything. Part-time is fine if it pays enough or isn't too far away. I just need some money of my own. It says something about my conditioning that I don't value the work I do in keeping the house and taking care of the family, running the errands and playing taxi. Robb would most assuredly have to pay someone to do these things if I weren't here. I suppose it's a good thing room and board are included! But I find myself unable to concentrate for long periods, leaving things unfinished more often than usual. Scattered you might say. I'm sleeping fine, and I don't seem to be depressed because I'm still finding things to do, things to look forward to, so I don't think I'm depressed exactly.
There have been some great things happening, like the election for one. I'm not Obama's biggest fan, but I do think he's an honest, caring man, whose heart is in the right place. I kept looking at Romney, examining the facts about him, watching him, the way he interacted, the first hand accounts of people who had met and dealt with him. I found absolutely nothing to recommend him, nothing. I didn't even like looking at him, he actually made me physically ill. Emotional responses yes. But I listen to my gut, and when just looking at someone makes me sick, the last thing I am going to do is vote for them to be President. I can't even talk about Mr. Lyin' Ryan, Mr. Sanpaku eyes. He will die strangely, I believe. I don't know how, but it will come from outside him. Some craziness.
I don't know what the future holds for this country, but I know it's now a better future than it would have been had that man been elected. That's all I really want to say about the politics of the day. I felt pretty strongly about it, against one that is. I was also happy to see so many women and gay/lesbian representatives elected. I really would like to see Elizabeth Warren run in 2016. I am sure there are others that will make themselves known. I was glad to see more states ratify marriage equality and legalize marijuana. I don't smoke it, in fact I am allergic to it...but I don't think it poses any more of a threat than alcohol or tobacco or prescription drugs, so it should be legalized. Legalize it and tax the crap out of it. Good-bye to a large portion of the national debt I think. And don't even get me started on the whackadoodles that wanted to redefine rape or think that women can't and never do get pregnant as a result of rape. I mean, that's just revisionist claptrap wishful thinking any way you look at it. I class those clowns in the same category as the nutjob that just got sentenced to life in prison for shooting all those people, including Rep. Gabrielle Giffords in AZ. May they all take their place in that special hell their God has reserved for them.
I'm disturbed that Prop 37 did not pass in CA, but there will be another chance in two years at the mid-terms so we will see what happens. I will continue to raise awareness about GMO's and their dangers and hope that the momentum builds so that it passes when it comes up for a vote again. More energy will go into that in the coming months.
So, that's what I've been up to. This is how I process stuff. Lots of reflection, lots of internal stuff going on. But then, it's that time of year isn't it? I'm so grateful for so many things and so frustrated about others. This is how I work out my balance. This is how I reconcile myself to what must be, and figure out what I can change and what I must let go. Progress, no?
- Tags:accomplishments, activism, animals, appreciation, bamboo, choices, circle, conservation, death, deaths, familiars, family, fos, gratitude, grief, halloween, handfasting, health, health activism, hemp, holidays, hope floats, justice, legal, legislated morality, magick, manifestations, memories, paganism, passages, past, patterns, relationships, religion, ritual, ritual liturgy, rituals, sabbats, sacredness, seasons, spiders, spinning, spirituality, tarot readings, thanksgiving, women's rights
Today I created Food Porn. I created a new dish in my lovely kitchen and feel compelled to share it.
I have always liked the idea of chicken on pizza, be it just regular grilled chicken, pulled bbq chicken, even fried chicken. I’ve used ranch dressing and sour cream as sauce, even yogurt in a pinch. Well today I didn’t have any of those,…well I had yogurt but it was vanilla and that just didn’t sound right.
I began by putting my pizza stone in the oven at 475. I followed up with a sundried tomato and basil 12 inch tortilla.
I spread some olive oil on it and then sprinkled some Italian herbs and parmesan cheese.
Then I spread some medium Taco Bell taco sauce on it – like you would pizza sauce.
Then I grilled two four ounce chicken breasts sprinkled with Italian herbs. I cut them into strips and then tossed them into the KitchenAid® on low to shred. I added some thawed frozen chopped spinach, some parmesan cheese and some shredded Colby jack and mozzarella.
After letting that mix up a bit, I added a teaspoon of worchestershire sauce, a teaspoon of brown, horseradish mustard and mixed it a little more. Then I spread it out on the now heated tortilla on top of the taco sauce and parmesan cheese, sprinkled with some bacon bits and popped it back in the oven for 12 – 15 minutes.
Then I munched out on the deliciousness. This was lunch as well as dinner. T tried it and liked it…good thing I made two!
We talked about creating new things and reworking old things – like his American Eagle chinos we found at Plato’s Closet. I had to cut them down even though he’s tall. Then I hemmed them for him and showed him how to iron them.
It was a good, lazy day.
I made the choice. With eyes wide shut. But I made the choice. The outcome is on me. I said at first that I just got greedy. A friend said that my definition of greed needed some work because the things I had said I was looking forward to didn't sound especially greed to them. Perhaps.
Perhaps it wasn't the choice so much as the hubris in making it matter more than it should have, basking in short-lived satisfaction as I did. I thought a corner had been turned, indeed, crowed that the puzzle was finally complete after twelve years in the making.
If it took twelve years to come together, it took only eight days for it to fall apart into nothingness.
The joke was on me it seems. Rarely is the joke so cruel as this one - there were more victims than myself. Or are they all MY victims by virtue of my choice? Am I just as responsible for what DOESN'T happen as I am for what does depending on decisions I make?
Still it means I have been home the last few days and that may have made the difference in the life if another who is very important to me. Illness can claim a four leg so quickly. Most of the time all we can do is stand helplessly by and watch. When the outlook didn't seem good, I gave myself over to the acceptance that it might go badly, and I might lose my familiar friend. But so far, so good. He's hanging in there. Now I ask myself is all that I thought would come as a result of that choice worth losing in the face of what I have been able to save?
I guess I should wait until I am sure it is saved, and therefore safe, to say. Silence, they say, IS golden.
I have encountered great pain in the last few weeks, pain that didn't have to be. The pain of regret. The regret of a choice made in mistaken optimism. But in that pain, I also found hope. I am not helpless. My hands can create beauty. It will outlast my life. I am content with that. But I am reminded of the movie Shadowlands, with Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger.
Do I owe anyone else to be more than content? Can I take a measure of future happiness against the credit of the pain now? Again, one wonders. Will I look back on that choice one day and marvel that I felt any pain at all given the road it led me down?
Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.
1. The Road Not Taken
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Tags:anger, animals, cat tales, choices, decisions, gratitude, happiness, hope floats, in my head, manifestations, musings, new beginngings, ohmyfuckinggods, sacrifice, self-analysis, update, work, work challenges
- Music:Starry Starry Night - Don McLean
You know how preparedness is the key to success? Patience pays off?
Time teaches many things and patience is just one of those lessons?
Hehe, well I’ve been paying attention.
Sure, it’s been a long hard slog back up from the hole I fell into in 2007.
It was an Initiatory experience, of epic proportions from my perspective.
I don’t expect very many people to truly understand what I mean, but there are a few that will.
My apologies for the formatting, I continue to struggle with whatever makes my entries misallign.
One of the things time teaches you is how to be grateful. When you have to wait, when you have to struggle ,sometimes just to eat, let alone to have the bills paid and gas to get to work to make the little bit of money you do get for your time, you learn to appreciate so many things because they stand out from all the shit you’re going through. You learn to appreciate the little things. You learn to appreciate the things that most people, if they are honest, never take the time to notice. It’s not that they don’t HAVE the time, it’s that they don’t TAKE the time. In this case, time offered me a great big Cosmic Clue By Four…you might say the Ace of Two-by-Fours…about how waiting pays off. Not just jumping at the first little gnat that shakes the web because you’re desperate and you’re hungry for change. It teaches you to see things in longer range, in a range long enough to see the eventual pay off, and why jumping at the first gnat will cause you to miss the big catch…that grasshopper you’ve been waiting for.
Yeah, if you detect the spider’s perspective here, it’s because Spider has been my teacher since 2007. They appeared in my garden first, in August of 2007. The big beautiful golden orb weavers…the writing spiders. Aside from the beauty of their webs, the marvel of symmetry and delicate balance, their webs feed them. Their webs are strong, they are, in most cases more resilient than you think.
Well Spider had a thing or two to teach me. Once the one in the garden disappeared, one appeared next to the doorway of the house I was living in. It just happened to coincide with the loan of a spinning wheel. Having just learned to knit, a friend put a drop spindle in my hands at one of the knitting get togethers and I was immediately entranced. It was like I’d done it before…well once I’d switched from a bottom whirl to a top whirl, that is. Turns out the bottom whirl is actually the older of the two. My father’s mother’s maiden name was Lain…taken from McLaine…French Scots ..and guess what Laine is in French? Hehe…wool. Are you seeing a pattern here? Spiders, spinning, Laine, wool? Okay.
So spiders have since been the indicator to me of ‘spinning season’ It’s when it’s time to get the wheel out and oiled up and start searching for roving. That’s the stuff you spin into yarn, for those of you that don’t know. But lately, since we’ve moved into this house, I’ve had no garden for the spiders to come to. Nevertheless this beauty found it’s way to my front door.
Isn’t she gorgeous? And I’ve been watching her. There have been any number of smaller bugs caught in the edges of her web and she has not eaten them, and in one case I observed her RELEASING them. WTF? Since when do hungry spiders let their prey go? This particular spider appears to be more than the sum of her parts…so I have continued watching…she spins her web every evening, and sits and waits. Every day this perfect web, snaring little bugs at its edges but never anything of substance. I still watch, fascinated as she trims threads and releases the ones that are able to get away with her help. It was puzzling to me. Then I realized, not only was she smart, she knew what she was looking for. That once in a lifetime chance for the BIG KILL. I too have been waiting, declining offers that would only sap my strength and time and leave me unable to take advantage of the possibility of something better.
And then, at the perfect time, the goal is within reach. The reason for her patience tucked amid the leaves of the jasmine vines that twine up both sides of my front porch.
Jasmine vines? You say? Yes, Aset in Her many guises has been my Matron for nearly 30 years…I grow jasmine as and when I can because they are her most beloved offering. The spider has entrusted her legacy within it’s leaves. This then, is the reason why she has conserved her strength, why she didn’t pounce on every opportunity, descending on tiny morsels that did not put back more than the effort in capture cost her.
And yesterday, as the Blue Moon in Pisces waxed and became full at 9:57am, a recruiter was perusing my resume on Career Builders. At 10:34am, my phone rings. I am at work, so I walk outside to speak with her about an opportunity that comes ONCE in a BLUE MOON. A position that is even better than the one I left at the bank more than twelve years ago. I didn’t want to leave that job, I had to. It was sucking the life out of me at a time when my family needed me. Something had to give. I have always been sort of at the mercy of things happening in other people’s lives that affect mine. “Like the pebble dragged along,” is an apt way of putting it. My mother had cancer, my daughter was pregnant at 15 and my marriage was going south in a hurry in 1998. Little did I know how long it would be before I would regain my momentum and be able to have a career worthy position to devote the rest of my life towards. I wanted a life….and I got it, but it cost me dearly…it cost me the ability to make my own living for more than a dozen years. Until yesterday.
Like the spider, I was hungry for an opportunity. Like the spider, there were others that presented themselves but none really worth the energy expended on them for what they would provide in benefit. Too little pay for too long hours, no health benefits, no paid vacation, it seemed I was doomed.
But that all changed when this recruiter found MY resume out of hundreds on that website. And out of hundreds of employers, she was searching on behalf of one that thinks like I do. A man who looks at the backstory. Himself a two time cancer survivor and single father. Small details in my resume led him to choose me. I could not meet until 6pm. He told the recruiter he would wait for me. That’s no small thing considering he was getting ready to leave for Europe with his family for two weeks. He waited. He waited for me. Like me waiting for the opportunity and the spider for hers. We all waited. And while that Blue Moon waxed gibbous in the morning light, pieces of a puzzle waiting twelve years fell into place. After that interview, after he told me the job was mine, told me he'd see me in two weeks, I went out to my car and literally fell into a million pieces in the parking lot. Looking at that building through my tears of joy, rainbows from the setting sun glittered in my vision. This is my diamond, my pot of gold, my new path, my new beginning. This is fruition.
Maybe I’m being dramatic. But what this means to me, at this time, at this place in my life when I had all but lost hope…that ‘once in a blue moon’ happened. She got her grasshopper, I got the job of a lifetime, that recruiter nailed a huge commission and that employer picked the right employee to suit his vision. Once in a Blue Moon…indeed.
I can’t stop walking around with this silly, goofy grin all over my face. And to think, Spider taught me the lesson in patience that has paid off. Now, maybe I’m hyping it up more than I should so that the reality will never live up to the expectation. But all I really expect, is the opportunity. Give me the job and tools and I’ll reach the goal. All I need is the opportunity. All that spider needed, was the opportunity, the right opportunity. All that recruiter needed was the right resume, and that employer needed the right fit. Our collective patience has paid off. And my Loom of Life has been fed by the Web of Wyrd and I am, will be, the richer for it.
Here’s hoping all of you who need the opportunity have it, and the patience and perseverance to seize that opportunity and make the most of it. I wish for you the happiness, the utter and complete joy of knowing you are where you are supposed to be to take advantage of the right opportunity. Poised to make your kill at that once in a blue moon chance that will change your life, for the better, forever.
Wait for it…wait. For. It. And like the spider, like me, seize that opportunity and wring every last drop of possibility out of it. Be ready, be patient and be choosy. And the grasshopper? What does he get out of this? Another chance, a new beginning...and maybe, just maybe, he'll get to be the spider next time.
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Have a look at the above link. Then do me a favor if you care about what you eat, go to the Facebook pages of these companies:
Cascadian Farm, Muir Glen, Honest Tea, Horizon Foods, Morningstar Farms, Boca Burgers, Back to Nature, Tropicana Orange Juice, Knudsen, Hunt's Organic, Lightlife, Nakedjuice, and any of the other products that you personally use and let them know you know they have contributed LOTS of money AGAINST Proposition 37 in California, the measure that would make it illegal NOT to LABEL GMO's - especially when they are labeled 'all natural' or 'natural' or 'organic'.
I have gotten one response - from Honest Tea (owned by Coca Cola) and they said:
"Hi Gaia, thanks for reaching out to us. For many years now we have included a GMO-free label on the back of our packaging along with our organic certification. We are committed to factual, meaningful and understandable labeling, in compliance with federal regulations. If you’d like more information please contact us at 800-865-4736. Thanks!"
Now, to me, the word committment means that they are FOR factual, meaningful, and understandable labeling in compliance with FDA regulations. CURRENT regulations do not demand labeling of GMO's and these companies and others listed in the article at the link, want to keep it that way.
Go, speak, make your voice heard with the tool of social media! Let's see how many hits those names get on this entry.
I do not buy the goods of traitors. As of today, cold turkey, no more Diet Coke. It's bad enough their aspartame has me addicted, that's a known toxin and they don't claim it's safe or 'organic'. Honest Tea tho? Yeah, they need to be "HONEST". Label that shit.
- Tags:activism, boycott bp, choices, consequences, decisions, eco-product reviews, food, frauds, health, health activism, heath, irony, laws, legal, liars, lies, medicinals, morons, nature, news, people who think i'm not on to them..., people who think i'm not on to them...., politics, protection, psa, rant, scary shit - no lie, science, shopping, stupid companies, supplements, thieves, unfuckingbelievable